The Evenstar's Worst Fear
by Capt. PJ Night
Summary: AU: Arwen has a really bad night: Nightmares, water, promises. Previously titled The Evenstar's Night. Complete. Please R
1. The Nightmare

Disclaimer: Ok all, this is the Captain speaking. Just so you know, I do not own Lord of the Rings, any of its characters or anything related to it. This story is just a spout of imagination written down for the enjoyment of others. Captain PJ  
  
The Evenstar's Worst Fear  
  
Chapter One: Nightmares   
  
Heart wrenching screams tore from her breast. She felt alone, abandoned, lost. How could he leave her? How could he do that? He said he loved her, didn't he? He said she would be his forever. Why? Why, then, did he choose to leave her with naught but memories? Had he really succumbed to all the pain and weariness this world held? He said he would fight for her - fight against such an end as long as he could. Could he not anymore?   
  
Trapped in that nightmare, Arwen did not know the answers. All she could see was the one she loved dear leaving her; his eyes fading and closing just as the sun set; his brown locks losing their luster; his old face finally showing forth the wrinkles time had wrought. She had but turned her eyes and he was gone, carried off by some frightfully foreign breeze. Now she was left there, collapsed on the stone floor, screaming for him. Her cries were unquenchable. Her once unbroken heart was crushed. She was alone now.   
  
She tossed and turned with an almost desperate vigor. Pale cheeks were stained with cold tears as words strained to form on her crimson lips. "No! Do not go! I need you!! Please!" As the dream progressed her pleas became more urgent. "I need you! Please don't leave me! I-I love you!" Her ethereal voice faltered and she could do nothing else but cry.  
  
The handmaiden had tried unsuccessfully to wake her mistress. The whole royal house was awake by now and the poor girl did not know what to do. It was her first week as the Lady Evenstar's handmaiden and she was at a great loss. Flustered, she had gently called her mistress to no avail. Finally, sick with worry, help came. The Lords Elladan and Elrohir ran in. They sighed seeing Arwen uninjuried and frowned seeing the handmaiden near fainting.   
  
Elrohir sighed. " You." He pointed at the handmaiden. Her only response was to jump and start babbling about being sorry.   
  
Elladan sat next to his sister and gently started to rouse her. "Shush and go get him." The voice was commanding but its effect was weakened by the sheer panic in it.  
  
"H-him who, my lord?" The quivering maiden inquired.  
  
Unaware of the world outside her nightmare, Arwen cried his name over and over again. She was not answering the question; but calling for him. Would he answer? Could he answer?   
  
The pain in her heart was getting to a serious point. Seeing this, the twins rushed the inexperienced maiden out. They both urgently tried to wake their baby sister. "Arwen!" They screamed. They pleaded. They did almost everything they could think of.   
  
" 'Dan? She- she isn't gonna die of grief is she?" The response was a shrug and a worried muttering of some sort of curse. Fear working in his limbs, the younger twin grabbed a nearby vase and poured its contents all over the sleeping form.   
  
Sputtering and crying, the young Evenstar was pulled from her nightmare. "A-A-A... oh... please let Estel remain.." Her words were hurried and soft. She was still crying, although a little less severely. " 'Dan? 'Ro?" She looked between the two fearfully, sobs catching at her voice.   
  
They hugged her, relief washing over them. She was alive. For them, that was all that mattered. They had lost enough loved ones to last them a lifetime. Losing her would be just to much. For her, though, being alive was not enough. While their panic had disappeared into the night air, hers remained over her like a dense cloud. "Where is he?" she demanded, sobbing hard. "Where is he? Did he leave us too?" The twins looked at each other and discerned quickly the trouble that had haunted her. They just weren't quick enough to answer.   
  
"No, I did not leave you, my Arwen. I am right here." He stood in the doorway with the nervous handmaiden at his side. There he was. He was not bent by age and cares. He was not lost to a world of troubles. He was right there. She breathed easier and ran to him, her tiny form barely reaching his chest.   
  
"Oh Ada," she sighed through the lingering tears " I had the worst nightmare." A sob threatened as she tried to continue. "Please don't leave me like Nana did."   
  
A/N: Estel is elvish for hope and chapter two is on its way. 


	2. The Promise

The Evenstar's Worst Fear  
  
Chapter Two: The Promise  
  
Elrond sighed and looked into her shinning eyes. "Oh, my Arwen," he said as he picked up his youngest.

Her tiny arms wrapped themselves around his neck as her wet face found its place on his shoulder. "Promise me Ada," her soft voice entreated. "Promise me you won't go."

Holding her close, he looked at his sons. They, too, wanted him to make that promise. He could see it in their eyes. They wanted to be told that they would never be without him. And, in his heart, Elrond knew he could not guarantee that. Despite his gift of foresight, he could not keep his children from being alone. If only they could understand this. If only they knew the future to be so uncertain and, at times, hard.

"Ada?" Elladan asked, pulling his father from these thoughts. The silence that had descended upon them had lasted long enough. It was time for an answer.

Elrond took a moment to look at each of them. He saw the anxious despair reflected in their every feature. The grim eyes, the sniffling noses, the tight frowns were all tribute to the emotions in their chests. Soothingly he said, "Children, it's all right. Let us all go to bed. It was just a nightmare. Morning will come and we will all wish we had gotten more sleep." Sadly, his attempt at lightening everyone's mood did not work.

"But Ada," Arwen started. Like her brothers, she wanted her father's reassurance. None of them could stand losing their final parent.

He held her in a hug and looked at the boys. "We can have a picnic by the river tomorrow. It has been too long since we have had any kind of family outing." The boys happily agreed. Their despair was momentarily thrown out by the excitement tomorrow would bring.

Somewhat steadily, Elladan and Elrohir worked their way back to their room. "The picnic will be grand," the elder twin said, settling himself into his bed. His stubborn mind was satisfied with his father's words on the matter.

Elrohir, on the other hand, just shrugged. The dark hall lacked Elrond's calming presence. Night pressed in on him, causing his fears to resurface. His brother's silence caught Elladan's attention. "We can go swimming. Arwen will love it," he whispered hoping to break said silence. His voice remained low as his elven ears heard his father trek past their door. 'Ro just nodded, listening to his father's footsteps thoughtfully.

Elladan tried again, "We could even push Ada in." This time the response was a blank stare and something that resembled a nod. "I give up already," he sighed somewhat frustrated.

Elrohir blinked. "What?" For that somewhat lame brain response, he received a feathery projectile hurled at his head.

Grabbing his stunned brother, Elladan grinned, " Let us go talk to Ada."

Tossing the pillow back, the younger of the two smiled. " You have read my mind, brother." In a flash, the anxious twins were out of their room and standing in their father's doorway.

Having seen that both Arwen's bed and face were still rather wet, Elrond had taken her back to his room. _Maybe they do understand_, he thought as he tucked his Evenstar back into his bed. They had never expected to lose Celebrian. He never once foresaw her departure; no one did. This train of thought took off in a new direction and Elrond was quickly taken to a happy collage of memories. His heart ached for her, as did the children's. An empty feeling had descended upon them all. The pain was still too real and the wounds had barely begun to heal. Nothing could make them forget that. No picnic and no promise would be strong enough. But, he thought, maybe those things could help. 

"Ada." She had watched her father for several minutes, savoring the calming presence that seemed to emanate from him. Now Arwen wanted an answer. Her young mind needed to know if her father would leave her also. "Ada." Her eyes took on a puppy dog look she would one day become famous for. Her tiny arms caught themselves in his embrace. Her wet cheeks pressed against his. "Promise me you won't get on that boat without me..."

Sensing more tears were threatening his youngest, Elrond held her close. "Shh...shh, dearest." He rocked her back and forth as her mother was wont to do. He did not give an answer, so she cried. His silence seemed to be certainty of his abandonment.

"Oh, Ada... please... please..." Through her tears, Arwen repeated the promise she needed him to make. How could he, though? Elrond could not see how he could make a promise he might never keep.But, he could not see how he could deny his little girl anything. He could never let her tears fall so. He could not be the cause of her sorrow.

"I promise," he whispered softly into her hair. Logic was thrown out. Standing on the edge of an uncertain future, he gave his daughter some closure. Small as it was, it began to fill the emptiness her mother had inadvertently left. "I promise I will not get on that boat without you." He looked down at her, smiling comfortingly. Then his gaze fell to the boys, who were eavesdropping anxiously from the doorway. "...not without _any_ of you."

Fin

A/N: I do realize that when Arwen's mother left she was about 2000 years old. In this fic she is just an elfling. Consider this an AU type thing.


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